I have written this note to you numerous times in my head. Over and over the words turn, the thoughts grow but nothing ever seems to fully encompass the message I want you to hear.
So I start by asking for your forgiveness…
If I have not show you grace, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, love, kindness, humility, gentleness, if I have been less than a follower of Christ…please forgive me. If I have caused your heart to be calloused, for you to doubt God’s people, for you to feel as an outcast…please forgive me.
Words can hurt; even more so to someone who is already hurting. My intention was never to drag you down any deeper into the pit of despair. Never did I want you to feel the hand of humanly judgment, when God’s judgment is enough.
If you will allow me to explain with meager words how I think ‘friends’ are attempting to help…
Iron sharpens Iron, just as one friend sharpens another. Yep, we all need accountability. I am the first to say if you see me trapped in satan’s lies, please fill me in. Don’t let me go down that road any further. But the problem here is there are times in our lives when we just aren’t Iron. We are weak and vulnerable and raw, so when others come along and try to sharpen us (or expose darkness) it’s painful.
I am not saying we should overlook, or allow a friend to sit in darkness, but we should first show grace, love, mercy and compassion. And sadly many times our first emotions are anger, frustration, and annoyance. We rush after the sinner and our words shout out, how could you? We see the wounds of those around without thinking of the gushing pain of the one fighting in darkness. We throw stones from a distance instead of love from up-close. We pick the wrong battle with the wrong enemy.
So, I humbly say to Jesus, I am sorry I was no help in this battle. I prayed, yes. But I also judged, gossiped, used words without grace…spoke without seeking God first. I am thankful the power of God can overcome, even when His people fall short.
I love you my dear friend. I would do battle for you any day! Thank you for being vulnerable and speaking out.