Born July 23, 2013 at 8:49pm, 4 lb 13oz

She is still super tiny, not even 6lbs yet, but she is doing great.  We do have to use a heart monitor on her for awhile until she remembers that she needs to breath at all times, esp when she sleeps.  But we haven’t had too many episodes and should be done with that soon. 

She was born at 34 weeks but she met all the marks of a typical newborn and was able to be released from NICU within a couple of days.  She stayed in special care for a few extra days until we could get a home heart monitor for her.  At 6 weeks she is doing great.  Sleeps a lot, much to the frustration of her siblings…and gets tons of love and kisses, even if she is sleeping.

Here is a picture with her daddy so you can see just how tiny she was (is).  She was the same size as his forearm.

It is so hard to believe it has been 6 weeks since that crazy Tuesday night.  Wow, we have been through some serious recovery.  I want to thank everyone for covering us in prayer, for the meals, laundry, cleaning, errands, babysitting, gifts, kind words and caring hearts.  The pathology report came back clear with the kanser only being found in the cervix, so we will not need to do any further treatments, just follow-up exams every 3 months.  So a big fat WOO-HOO for that!

Before the surgery I asked both my oncologist and OB if it would really take a whole 6 weeks to recover.   I thought since I was semi-young, in good physical shape, eating totally healthy that I could knock off a few weeks and be running around playing with my kiddos by now…or at least be able to keep up with them.  Nope!  Totally not the case.  It hurts, I hurt. 

We have came so far from being in the hospital, so I am not complaining (well, only to my husband).  I won’t go into great detail, but there are so many things that doctors fail to warn you about that are part of recovery…and not that we really want to mentally climb that mountain before we physically climb it.  But knowing a little more of the ‘what might happen to you’ would have helped knock some of my ego down and not get my expectations up.  (Just so ya know…if you ever have to have a robotic lymph node dissection…it involves a ton of swelling, and all that lymph fluid has to come out somehow, and it is very painful, and it could mess with your nerves…disclaimer: I am no doc, so it might not happen this way for you)

In my little mind I thought I would be done with needing to rest or done with struggling to bend down or get up…I thought it would all be back to normal life…as normal as life is with a newborn.  I had no idea that my kids could walk faster than I, especially my 4 yr old.  Now I know how they feel when I am speed-racing through life and they are running to keep up.  It’s a good reminder to slow down and wait for the important things in life.

God is definitely teaching me huge lessons: on patience, not being anxious, being humble and asking for help, overlooking the mess, being content with where I am and quit looking to where I think I wanna (or “should”) be, having joy in the moments…no matter what those moments might look like. 

Dear Father-

Thank You for saving me!  Thank You for giving me life, Your life and new life.  Oh how I yearn to do life Your way, not my ugly fast-paced get it done style.  I see that You are slowing me down in the moments to teach me to live more and love deeper.  Thank You for my children…for teaching me through each one of them.  I pray that I would see the frustrations and trials of my life as Your teaching hand bringing me closer to Your kind of life.  Forgive me when I grumble through my days and waste opportunities to show love and grace.  I love you.

A