The nurse called today with the MRI results from Monday. Her report was pretty much the same as last time…cervix is enlarged, but the kanser is still contained within the cervix. So that’s good, I guess. We will proceed with the delivery/surgery on the 26th.

My son asks me almost every day if the kanser is gone yet. I have held him off by saying God was healing me and we would see how far the healing was after this MRI. So of course the first question he asks me after the MRI was his usual… Is it gone yet? Today, I told him it was still there, but the surgery would take care of it. He just said maybe God was waiting and they wouldn’t find any kanser during the surgery. I agreed. And it was that simple. Child-like faith…if it were only that simple.

My daughter, on the other hand, comes to me every day with the baby count down. She tells me how many more days until the baby is born with such great enthusiasm. If only I shared the same spunk and simple joy for that day. I pretend. Yes, I am totally excited to meet our new little one…that’s the best part. It’s just that so many other complicated things come with that day, it’s hard not to dread each day closer.

Child-like faith…Child-like joy, how so often us adults ruin it. We add worry, fear, doubt, past experiences, sorrow, self-righteousness, independence, and so many other ugly things to our spiritual lives, they just don’t look very joyful or trusting. No wonder Christ-followers don’t look that much different from world-followers. Its ugly and sad. However, within the storms of life, we are reminded of our Guide and Guardian. The One who leads us to quiet waters and covers us with His wings. In our hearts we know He is there, calling us out of our selfish pits and into His peace. I know Him…His hand is not shortened to save. I know He loves me and cares for me…even if my faith is just that of an adult.

Dearest Father, forgive me for my shaky faith. Thank You for children who remind us of how simple a life following You really is. I pray that my life would be a reflection of joy and faith because of You. Thank You for healing me and restoring my life to You daily. I love You.