My plan for the summer was to have a great time with my kids…swimming, fun times with friends, fountains, going to Table Rock, getting a nice tan, trips to the library, having an excellently organized chore chart and obedient children to follow it, and add to that a summer of great children’s bible study where they would truly be convicted of all their wrongs (especially sibling rivalry) and become little angels, and after all that’s said and done I would have a perfectly healthy baby with a naturally smooth delivery somewhere around September 1st. HA! Although that totally (and I mean TOTALLY) all sounds great, “my plan” will not prevail….not just because of what the doctors are telling me, but because of human nature. We are fallen, my children are fallen, being raised by fallen parents, stricken to sin, yet so desperate for things of the Spirit, His goodness, grace, forgiveness. For now, we live in a fallen world…with poverty, murder, car-wrecks, processed foods, kanser, ugly words, and more depressing things no one wants to hear about. But, Praise God,
“He brings us up out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and sets our feet upon a rock, and establishes our steps.” Ps 40:2
The definition of establish: to found, to bring into being on a stable basis, to install and settle into a position, to show to be true, to cause to be accepted, to bring about permanently. Wow! How gracious God is to us…He finds us, calls us out and places us on His stable rock, settles us into our individual path, shows His ways and our ways with Him are true, He accepts us (sin and all) and will one day make us permanent with Him in Heaven.
Because we are a family after God’s own heart, He establishes our steps. He has called us out among darkness to stand on His rock, His ways, His path filled with daily awe and wonder. Do we fall short? DAILY, even hourly…yet, He loves us, convicts us and encourages us to continue.
There is another plan this summer…one the doctor’s have given us. Their plan is to do another MRI around 33 weeks (we are heading into our 26th week now), check that the kanser hasn’t progressed and deliver the baby by C-Section around 34 to 35 weeks (which is around the end of July). Immediately following that C-Section delivery would be a radical hysterectomy. Talk about an emotional roller-coaster day for my husband…”oh congrats on your new baby, now you need to leave while we do surgery on your wife and remove her kanser!” The findings on the MRI could change things up a bit; however, we are trusting in God’s plan for all this and of course His healing power! But for an update on those who didn’t know, those are the doctor’s plans. And to answer the question I get a lot…yes, the baby is fine. They are not concerned at all about the health of the baby. To quote my oncologist, she said babies are pretty resilient and are the first to ‘jump ship’ when they feel threatened.
So “my” summer might not look like I originally planned. I am a work in progress and my life and character is still being carefully molded by my Creator. Praise God! And what might look like an ugly plan to most, we totally see His beauty in it. The hand of God is upon us and there is no greater feeling.